Tag Archives: What Do I Want


Something inside me is going on.  I feel different, yet the same.  Ill, yet not.  What is going on?  I can’t explain the shift…the shifts…going on inside me.  It is alien to me…I am alien to me.  I think it’s the new person that I am becoming is being attacked by the old person I was.  I think it is referred to as my old blueprint…trying to hang onto the old me…who I am used to….whom I know.  I’m so full of emotions…crying, laughing, sorrow, happiness, excited, scared…even sitting still…while on the outside I do not move, it’s like I can feel the processes inside me…breathing, blood flowing, heart beating, thoughts, feelings…there are times I do not know who I am, what is going on, where is me???  Where did I go?  Overwhelmed  OVERWHELMING….LET ME GO….LET GO OF ME!!!!

I think this all is scaring me…no…this all is scaring me.  I step away from what I was doing… what was I doing?  Reading..writing…spending time and focusing on me…  Trying to let my light shine.  I think that honestly horrifies me.  Nope…I know it does.  It horrifies me… I have been shrinking myself for so long… too long!  It’s my light that horrifies me…like that child that catches that first fish and has no idea what to do with it after it’s on the line…  What am I pretending not to know?  Why am I holding myself back?  Why am I so horrified with what I know is going to happen???  What am I so horrified about??? Part of me is so excited and can see the future me…and then there is a part of me that…that…I don’t even know how to explain it…is holding me back…tells me to be grateful for what I have and accept it for being enough….

2017-Week05-What the…?

Well, the old me would have gone off an a rant about this past week…

I accept the fact that the universe is exactly the way it is suppose to be.  So everything that happened to me the last ten days…well…it is exactly as it should be.

Let’s just say that I welcome obstacles…for they are my challenge.  Each day I will be tested, tested on what I am learning…tested on how I am growing as a person…tested on how I am manifesting my new blueprint…my new me!

I understand now that I am the one that controls me.  I choose to look at the glass half full.  I choose to focus on what I have and to be grateful for what I have…rather than what I do not.

Today I begin my new life.


Focus brings about awareness… awareness brings about perspective.  Yes, my favorite words again for the last few years…yet, I always seem to be amazed by them.

This week I focused…really focused on the question that is always bouncing around in my head: WHAT     DO     I    WANT?    I had a thought… What if someone wants to give me EXACTLY what I want…AND they asked me…AND I could not answer them>???  The magic genie in the bottle 😉  How sad that would be…  It reminds me of the joke that this person keeps praying to God to win the lottery…months and months and years go by…becoming so frustrated with God and their prayers not being answered, they reach out and blatantly ask God, why are you not answering my prayers?  He answers…would you at least buy a lottery ticket.

Have I bought my lottery ticket?  Why am I here?  What is my gift?  What Do I Want?

I believe the meaning of life is to find your gift…the purpose…to give it away.  I believe that I have found my gift: I am a great numbers and finance and strategy person.  People like talking with me…so I believe I am a people person.  I absolutely LOVE Helping Others!  I grew up not following “THE” path because it was “THE” path…I questioned…I question everything.  I accept now that if something does not make sense to me…and I can not learn or make sense of it, I don’t continue or pursue it.  This has served me well.  Did Mark Twain say that common sense is not so common?

I am winning the battle of putting into words WHAT I WANT.  A Godsend into my life is my guide Terry.  He made me ‘aware’ that “What I Want” needs to be put into clear understandable language so that I can begin construction on my ‘project’…my new me!  It became very clear to me this week of how negligent I have been to focus on what I want.  Also very clear to me of how my old blueprint is fighting against me trying to create my new me…my new future self.  Og says it best, “I have surrendered my free will to the years of accumulated habits and the past deeds of my life have already marked out a path which threatens to imprison my future.”


“I will walk tall among men and they will know me not, for today I am a new man, with a new life.”



Big shout out to Terrific Terry who took time to MasterMind with me! I just submitted another DMP version after our MasterMind session reloaded my brain with a little different approach of thinking of things…Thanks Terry.  …oh wait, maybe I should wait to see if my DMP is closer or further 😉

My life is still AWESOME!!!  Enjoying my days and taking time to be a grateful receiver of the gifts that surround me, noticing nature, kindnesses, smiles, and compliments!  I am learning and taking action with how to react to life’s little tests…catching myself laughing at situations that just awhile ago I would have totally lost it…flipped out!  There is a certain calmness…in harmony maybe…with just following my heart.  Guilt does try to creep in along with the red pencil…but…not on my watch!!!  I do too many things right…and… the universe is exactly the way it is suppose to be….so who am I?  I am Rip Yegerman… and I am letting my light shine!  You gotta know me to know what a big deal that is!!!???  I got that video ….here …and every time I play it, well, it just gets me.  He can look me square in the eye and tell me just the way it is.  I shrunk…that was a huge deal for me.  I love the new feelings I get and I’m not out for anything more, or less, than just the feeling of knowing I am following my heart.

I wish you all to partake in the harmony, peace and love I feel this week.






So… I decided to make a commitment…to myself, for myself.  Then…everything started happening…and not in a good way!!!???  I sit…I think…I relax… I ponder… Am I responsible for what happens to me?  Is my old blueprint that strong…that ruthless…that powerful, to really create the situations that are happening to me in an attempt to keep me…or delay me, from following my heart and creating my new blueprint…recreating myself?

I become anxious.  I want change…I want things to change faster than they are… but, I must practice the art of patience for nature acts never in haste.  Its hard when you make it a step forward and then it feels like you slide back three.  Sometimes I wonder what’s the use?  It feels like the chips are stacked against me….but it’s the little wins that keep me going.  It’s my future self that won’t let me quit.  I know in my heart that this is what I must do.  I have come too far to not stay committed to this journey.

I have re-engaged with trying to figure out what I want.  I can still hear Mark…. What    Do    You    Want?  It’s hard.  It’s even harder to get my Definite Major Purpose into words…again.  Have you ever wanted something so much and everything you do seems to push that which you want further away?  *sigh*  It can only last so long…the resistance.  Sooner or later somethings gotta give….and I’m too valuable…my future self is too valuable to give up at this point.  Back to my reads, my sits and my cards…  Looking for that next bit of sunshine…next bit of shining gold to peak out from under the cement and boost me again.

2017-Week01-Here We Go

Life is amazing! …and all-of-a-sudden it’s September…and MKMMA is upon me…again!  My life has changed so much, but yet…so much has stayed the same.  I strive to break free from my blueprint and hope that this year will be epoch!!!

The rekindling of the flame that sparked me years ago keeps me engaged to the MKMMA with hopes that I will fully engage and bring my understanding to yet another higher plane!  I struggle with time management…but I know that I will eventually learn how to distinguish what is important and what is distraction and only focus and give time to the important.  By re-engaging into the process, letting my old bad habits go and replacing them with new good habits, I will succeed!  It amazes me that after letting Snap-on go, I still seem to have an issue of time flying by.  How did I ever manage to have time to work my Snap-on business???

I look forward to this session as a time to get serious.  My Extraordinary Eileen asked me if I was going to engage with the MKMMA again this year…but I could tell by her mannerisms, that it wasn’t a question!  So…here I am!  I am here!  I am! I believe!


Minion letting go of the banana

2017 Week24-Timing

Timing… I’m laughing as I realize what I named this weeks post and realize it’s been… Yikes… too long since I last posted.  Normally I would be red penciling myself for the negative aspect of that but… you know what? …Life happens!!!

…and life has been amazing for me lately.  I have turned into “that guy” that gets things done with a happy knack!  The experience of all the little inexplicable miracles that are becoming a part of my life lately are just… amazing.

I am launching my new career and still keeping thinking that I am going to wake up from this dream all-of-a-sudden.  My life is MINE!  I am not a slave to doing what I have to anymore.  Just like in my DMP (Definite Major Purpose) I awake each day to a new day that I have created.  The people coming into my life are awesome and I welcome each of them for the reason they have come into my life…some to strengthen me, some to test me, some to teach me…but whatever the reason…I welcome each one and silently address them with an I Love You!

The only downfall of my new life is that time seems to fly by even faster than before.  I remember one of my first jobs sitting at a desk writing warranty claims…watching the clock all day as my day just dragged by…  How long those days seemed to last verses how my days fly by now!!!??  How I became dreading waking up and having to run my tool route…running on that hamster wheel of life…not being fulfilled and knowing that their was something more important that I was here to do.  I’m chipping the cement off and finding my golden self…enjoying the journey.

I have given up safe and secure and traded that for what can be.  I let go of my banana…

Monkey Not Letting Go Of Banana

Let Go Of The Banana

…Given up the life I had so I could have the life I want.  What took me so long?  What was I so afraid of?  I live by faith and love now.  Each day presents new opportunities for me that I allow to blossom and live with.  The universe is exactly as it should be and I am allowing my heart and God to guide me.  I am the master of my emotions and I choose to stay in harmony.

Blessed to be on this journey…blessed to be with those who read this.  I am letting my light shine and thereby giving others permission to do the same.   Join with me…let your light shine!  Chip off your cement and find the golden you…the you, you were meant to be!




2017 Week19-Happy


What does that word mean to you?  What kind of feelings does the word ‘happy’ bring to you?  Are you happy?

I am happy.  I choose to be happy.  I look for happiness and find it.  The more I focus on happiness, the more I find.  The more I find, the more happy I become.

Sensing a pattern?

Awareness … leads to perspective, more accurately… a change of perspective!

I have become brutally aware of people’s perspective.  “You are making me angry!”  While I understand this comment, my awareness has changed my perspective about it.  “I” can not make you angry.  I can do and say things that could make you angry… but ultimately, it is “you” that has decided to get angry.  Yes?  It took me a while to become aware of this… but once I did, YIKES!

On the same train of thought… what makes you happy?  I would really rather focus on happy, positive thoughts than negative, unhappy ones.  What you focus on grows while that which you choose to forget, atrophies or “gradually decline in effectiveness or vigor due to underuse or neglect.”  Bye bye unhappy angry thoughts! …Hello happy, positive thoughts… looking for kindness, happiness, thoughtfulness, success…

Yesterday Roger calls me.  After our lunch he invited me to the other day, he put into play one of the ideas that we shared… I like to call it masterminding 😉  The outcome that he had from the use of this idea was amazing.  As Roger explained to me what happened and said “because of you”… I was exploding inside.  (even recounting this experience now, I am experiencing the same bodily reactions as I did originally.  I guess I will have to bookmark this and read it any time I need a “charge”)  Goosebumps ran from the base of my spine into my neck… from my neck into my head… I will never forget the feeling!!!  It was like a charge of electricity that exploded from my head and swept through my body.  I helped someone!  I truly helped someone!!!  I am so happy… so right with nature, the universe… so fulfilled!!!  Thank you so much Roger for …how do I describe it?… sharing with me your success… being one with the universe… being in the flow of giving and receiving… giving without the expectation of reciprocity… I am so elated right now!!!

I struggle with my PPN’s (Personal Pivotal Needs)  Through the MKMMA (Master Key Master Mind Alliance) we are guided to choose two.  I have gone back and forth between “Helping Others” and “Recognition for Creative Expression.”  Liberty (the ability to act as one pleases and having the financial resources to do so) is one that I definitely decided on.  Roger’s phone call and my reactions to it takes me into my sit with the question; What was more fulfilling… what is more important for me… to me, helping Roger or the recognition for it?

I Believe

I am Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious and HAPPY!!!


2017 Week18-My Itch

“Within me burns a flame which has been passed from generations uncounted and its heat is a constant irritation to my spirit to become better than I am, and I will. I will fan this flame of dissatisfaction and proclaim my uniqueness to the world.”

I thought it was an itch…I guess it’s a flame, or its heat… that has been irritating me lately.  It amazes me how differently I see things.  Things that I have seen, that I have read, that I have experienced, over and over again, …and… all of a sudden… look different, mean something different… feel different…almost new to me.  The above passage comes from the scroll marked IV in Og Mandino’s book that I have been studying.  Although I have read it hundreds of times, I went searching for it today.  Today it means something… something different to me.  Today is the first day of the rest of my life.  When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.  Such truth has never been more profound as it has been for me these past few months.

Something is happening inside of me.  I am becoming more… me?  Following my heart.  Deciding to make myself happy.  Doing what I want to do.  Taking time to enjoy… everything!  I have started video blogging, something that I have wanted to do for awhile now.  I am not going to “red pencil” things that I do not do anymore, I am going to “green pencil” the things that I do do.  I focus on what is important to me.  God, family, business.

Believe… and most importantly… TAKE ACTION!  As an axe’s trifling blows against a mighty oak seem of no consequence, it WILL eventually tumble if you keep at it.  I’ll leave you with a favorite quote and my video for this week:

Until one is committed, there is hesitancy, the chance to drawback. Concerning all acts of initiative (and creation), there is one elementary truth, the ignorance of which kills countless ideas and splendid plans: that the moment one definitely commits oneself, then providence moves too. All sorts of things occur to help one that would never otherwise have occurred. A whole stream of events issues from the decision, raising in one’s favor all manner of unforeseen incidents and meetings and material assistance, which no man could have dreamed would have come his way.

Whatever you can do, or dream you can do, begin it. Boldness has genius, power, and magic in it. Begin it now.



2017 Week17-Let’s Go!

Just got done editing some video.  Reaching out to those that supported me for my first career… “slinging iron”  30 years some of you stuck it out with me… I am eternally grateful.

Winning the Stanley Cup!!!  Now there is a great feeling to make yourself feel!!!

I am Whole, Perfect, Strong, Powerful, Loving, Harmonious, and HAPPY!

Letting my light shine!  Giving myself permission!!  Illuminating the way for others!!!

Things manifesting in ways I could never imagine…or…hmmmm … have I imagined… did deep inside some sub-conscious controller connect to the universe and transmit the deep intent of WHAT I WANT!???  Wait… what?  Did I actually imply that I know what I want?  YAY!  I’m going to use my favorite words 😉  The constant “awareness” of knowing that I was trying to figure out what I want …seems to have manifested a new “perspective” in my blueprint that is allowing me to sharpen my focus and … epiphany! …I know what I want in a blurry kinda way.  Slowly I can feel myself working toward honing in on the sharp, focused picture of it!!!  I’m babbling…but I love this… I LOVE ME!

So while I am focusing in on what I want and enjoying my ‘new life’ …are there chunks of cement falling off?  My gold starting to peek out?  Seeing so much more kindness around me lately, it’s hard to keep my feelings in check sometimes.  Sunday sermon was another “darn it, I forgot my tissues….again.”  :-/  It’s blowing my mind… the overlap of so many different ways a single message is reaching me???… it’s a little miracle…actually…Lots of little miracles!!!