Tag Archives: Infinite Banking Concept

2017-Week11-Relief

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah….

YES!!!!!  Yeah BABY!!!

Did it!  Done! …Finally!!! … I can answer Mark J’s echoing question in my head:

WHAT          DO          YOU          WANT?

It feels amazing to complete something that I wanted to know… just never was able to.  To answer a question that seems so darn easy to answer… yet…I hadn’t.  I didn’t think I could.

It goes back to high school for me… my father asking me… my guidance counselor asking me… wait *thinking*  …What kind of guidance counselor does not help a student figure out  SQUIRREL! …Negative thought… brush it away like the burning ember that just popped out of the wood stove onto me…phew…no harm done…

How could I live my life with no direction?  Why am I here?  WHAT DO I WANT?

Deepest heartfelt thanks and gratitude go to The Terrific Terry, my Guide, who hung with me and guided me to find my Definite Major Purpose.  It feels as if a weight has been lifted off of me.  I now know WHAT   I   WANT!  Almost two years ago I walked out of an attorney’s office in Florida freeing myself from what became torment from my 30-year career… completing my DMP (Definite Major Purpose) …being told from my guide: Congratulations, it is done… brings back that same feeling of deep relief I had that day 2 years ago!  *wait… as I bask in this feeling again…. It feels so good … I am so grateful… life is so awesome!*

I KNOW WHAT I WANT!

 

2017Week10-Geesh

Yup….Geeeesh!

I powered through another revision of my DMP this week.  It was a struggle to say the least… but as I said before, and I will make it my new subconscious habit to finish what I start… Especially something as important as ME! …and my future me.

I came across something that helped me understand…hear it again…put in someone else’s words…different awareness…perspective, that I want to at least put here for safe keeping:

Something….someone I have been studying for years now…

Hopefully I am close to closing the chapter on my DMP for this year… It has taken not only A LOT of time but it has also taken a lot of my energy…mentally…anyway.

2017 Week09-Hammering

My focus is still on my DMP.  Yes…still there.

For too long I ignored what my heart tried to tell me that it… that I wanted…and I believe now that I will have to pay an even heavier/higher price.  …Challenge accepted!!!

I will not allow the red pencil, the cement, my old blueprint or any other obstacle to get in the way of creating, getting my DMP down on paper.  I welcome obstacles for they are my challenge!!!  I weigh back and forth of the importance of this one important factor and will not let the fate of my future self be entangled in my past habits.  My past habits allowed me to put this off…not understanding the true long-term repercussions of what not deciding what I really wanted was doing to me!!!  …and now…all-of-a-sudden…I know!  Holy crap!

My light scares the crap out of me…yet…I am no longer comfortable not letting it shine.  I am aware now that by not letting it shine…I am being selfish.  God has given me a gift…and if I am not willing to share it…what is the sense of me being here?

So…back to the drawing…. the DMP board.  I want to have that clear picture… that clear blueprint, my NEW blueprint clear as a lighthouse spot beam focused on exactly what I want so that the universe, that part of my mind that acts in ways I do not understand, will bring forth that which I want.

Yup… I know…I’m rambling.  Struggling.  Becoming aware.  Taking action.  Staying true to finding out what I really want so I can start creating my future self that will blow my old self away.  I’ve already had a taste of what it could be like and I want more… I want it all!  I won’t be satisfied until all the cement is gone and my gold self shines so brightly that it will allow others to do the same!

2017Week08-Tweak

Tweak… I love that word much better than redo!  I changed a PPN…oh the misery of justifying letting go of Helping Others!!!  Wait…not letting go of Helping Others, more of just letting it slid from number 2 position to number 3 position while I slide Recognition for Creative Expression from number 3 position to number 2 position. ***Oh listen to those judgemental voices in my head going crazy… how can you do that???  You are going to put your own being recognized in front of helping others???  What a selfish person you are!!!  That’s not very God-like….  I thought you said you that you follow His word???  That’s not right to put yourself in front of others…. okay Okay OKAY!!!   ENOUGH with the voices!!!  Cement?  Old Blueprint?  What…where is all that coming from???

Yes… I am sorry.  (Why do I say that I am sorry?)  I want to be recognized!  There!  I said it.  Whether it’s just a hug…wait…it’s not just a hug…hugs are AWESOME!!!!  Whether it is a hug…or seeing myself on TV… I want that!  I want to make a difference…a HUGE difference in this world!!!  I want to change the way EVERYONE handles their finances, thinks about their finances, creates their finances!  I’m saddened by the fact that so many people do not have enough self-esteem to believe they are entitled to anything other than the misery of going to work to a job they hate to make money that is already all spent until they die.  I can be that difference in someones life IF they will allow me to and IF they really want it and…here is the huge IF I have just recently become aware of… IF they are willing to do what they need to do to get it!!!  SO MANY people are not wiling to do that and that makes me even more sad.  They’ve just given up…no hope…no reason to live?

People have become sheeple.  It’s no wonder we are the way we are as a society.  All the cement.  All the training and manipulating.  Every person is a miracle of their own, why can’t they see that anymore?  While I can not get to every person, I’m going to start to identify those that still have at least a spark of hope left in them and kindle that spark into a flame.  I will be the change that I want to see in the world.  I will be recognized for doing so and that will be one of my rewards.  …and recognized to me means that either a hug from a person that will look me in the eye so that I can see in their eyes to the bottom of their soul their gratitude… to being called up on stage in front of millions… but…thinking about this… that hug weighs much more to me than the stage!