Category Archives: MKMMA

2018 Week18-Amazing

Weeks are blowing by like days, months like weeks, and years… well, I think you get the picture.

Ironically, I remember blogging about this exact phenomenon in one of my first blogs…BUT I remember then of being in/of the mindset of wasting my life away… trapped in a life that didn’t have a plan… or even a light at the end of the tunnel.  I was turning into that old crabby guy, looking for all that was wrong… YIKES!!!

“Emerson loved the good, and his life was a symphony of peace and harmony.  Carlyle hated the bad, and his life was a record of perpetual discord and inharmony.”  I choose to love the good and let the bad atrophy.

As my vehicle started decreasing speed and my check engine light started flashing at me on the highway in the middle of the bridge in Burlington, VT, an hour away from home at 11:30 in the middle of the night, I found myself smiling and starting to laugh.  Whaaaaaat?  What’s so awesome about me now that a situation like this, that I probably would have punched a window out in the past, brings a smile and laughs from me now???  While I cannot control WHAT happens to me… I can control HOW I respond!!!

I was also coming from an amazing weekend with my family.  We all met in NH for our annual Deli-night and this year brought about an amazing little… naaaaw….gonna call it an amazing huge miracle… my father was able to relive a little bit of his past history, performing on stage in front of his whole family!!!  I’m posting here to 1) share it with you and 2) have it always available to me to watch.

I am so grateful for my new life and for being able to learn how to make myself happy.

I Believe

2018Week17-Serving

Serving the greater good…  You cannot give and not receive, just as you cannot receive without giving.  One of the lessons I love in the MasterKey is “Give more Get more.”  I love to give… I love the feeling I get when I have been able to be in true service to someone. The second stage of giving is receiving… I know that I cannot give to someone without getting something.  I understand that it possibly will not be through the same channel that I gave that it will come back from, but regardless… and amazingly enough… I absolutely love and am quite surprised most of the times, with the reciprocity from my giving!

This week I have been blessed to have been able to spend time with my son and his fiancée. His pipes froze and broke in their house in Maryland and, as a part of my new life, I have been able to come down here and spend time helping him fix them. What was the positive perspective of this situation: It enabled us to be able to spend time together, it upgraded the horrible cheap plastic piping to Pex, we celebrated together our ability to repair this ourselves.

I am grateful for my new life!  I am grateful for all the positive things that happen to me everyday. I am grateful to the members of our tribe that take the time to share. I am grateful to our tribe leader/guide, the Terrific Terry, that consistently shows new perspectives to us.

I Believe!

Believe

2017(18) Week16-Acceptance

I welcome obstacles for they are my challenge …has been my chant this week.  I fight to accept that the universe is exactly the way it is suppose to be because I know the greater good that will come from this acceptance!  …but…isn’t there always a “but”???… it is sooooo hard to stay positive… to look for the good in everything.  Sometimes it is just accepting the fact that I am being tested.

Constantly I find myself justifying… just look where I am now verses where I was two years ago!  Attitude!  Awareness… Perspective.  It is all good.  I think it important to keep focus on the “what I want” at this point.  It’s not what happens to me… it is how I choose to react to it that is the important part.  This has been a huge shift for me and has been a work in progress.  I think that is why the things that have happened to me have happened…tests… they are all tests…  I’ll keep that in perspective…. keep moving forward… keep focusing on my green pencil… and keep enjoying my new life!

2017Week15-Persistence

Celebrating getting my DMP approved stalled my efforts to move forward as fast as I anticipated…BUT….It’s all good!!!

While I want to justify and make excuses… even red pencil myself… I fight with every ounce of my new self to accept the universe is exactly the way it is suppose to be and make myself fight my old blueprint so that I can not only accept where I am right now, but to bask in the glory of where I am right now… A LOT closer to where I am going and what I want than I was before!!!

I have doubled back to week 5 and 6 and 7, etc… I am trying to take up where I should have been after getting my DMP approved.  I struggle with the next step of linking the shapes and colors to my DMP and assigning SMART goals.  Just as with my DMP, I refuse to give up on my future self and what I want…so again I am diving into getting this done.  I will be reaching out to Terrific Terry for help and guidance again.  I feel that this is the year that everything will start coming together for me, and as already, I know it is only a matter of time until I get everything in line.

2017-Week11-Relief

Aaaaaaaaaaaaah….

YES!!!!!  Yeah BABY!!!

Did it!  Done! …Finally!!! … I can answer Mark J’s echoing question in my head:

WHAT          DO          YOU          WANT?

It feels amazing to complete something that I wanted to know… just never was able to.  To answer a question that seems so darn easy to answer… yet…I hadn’t.  I didn’t think I could.

It goes back to high school for me… my father asking me… my guidance counselor asking me… wait *thinking*  …What kind of guidance counselor does not help a student figure out  SQUIRREL! …Negative thought… brush it away like the burning ember that just popped out of the wood stove onto me…phew…no harm done…

How could I live my life with no direction?  Why am I here?  WHAT DO I WANT?

Deepest heartfelt thanks and gratitude go to The Terrific Terry, my Guide, who hung with me and guided me to find my Definite Major Purpose.  It feels as if a weight has been lifted off of me.  I now know WHAT   I   WANT!  Almost two years ago I walked out of an attorney’s office in Florida freeing myself from what became torment from my 30-year career… completing my DMP (Definite Major Purpose) …being told from my guide: Congratulations, it is done… brings back that same feeling of deep relief I had that day 2 years ago!  *wait… as I bask in this feeling again…. It feels so good … I am so grateful… life is so awesome!*

I KNOW WHAT I WANT!

 

2017Week10-Geesh

Yup….Geeeesh!

I powered through another revision of my DMP this week.  It was a struggle to say the least… but as I said before, and I will make it my new subconscious habit to finish what I start… Especially something as important as ME! …and my future me.

I came across something that helped me understand…hear it again…put in someone else’s words…different awareness…perspective, that I want to at least put here for safe keeping:

Something….someone I have been studying for years now…

Hopefully I am close to closing the chapter on my DMP for this year… It has taken not only A LOT of time but it has also taken a lot of my energy…mentally…anyway.

2017 Week09-Hammering

My focus is still on my DMP.  Yes…still there.

For too long I ignored what my heart tried to tell me that it… that I wanted…and I believe now that I will have to pay an even heavier/higher price.  …Challenge accepted!!!

I will not allow the red pencil, the cement, my old blueprint or any other obstacle to get in the way of creating, getting my DMP down on paper.  I welcome obstacles for they are my challenge!!!  I weigh back and forth of the importance of this one important factor and will not let the fate of my future self be entangled in my past habits.  My past habits allowed me to put this off…not understanding the true long-term repercussions of what not deciding what I really wanted was doing to me!!!  …and now…all-of-a-sudden…I know!  Holy crap!

My light scares the crap out of me…yet…I am no longer comfortable not letting it shine.  I am aware now that by not letting it shine…I am being selfish.  God has given me a gift…and if I am not willing to share it…what is the sense of me being here?

So…back to the drawing…. the DMP board.  I want to have that clear picture… that clear blueprint, my NEW blueprint clear as a lighthouse spot beam focused on exactly what I want so that the universe, that part of my mind that acts in ways I do not understand, will bring forth that which I want.

Yup… I know…I’m rambling.  Struggling.  Becoming aware.  Taking action.  Staying true to finding out what I really want so I can start creating my future self that will blow my old self away.  I’ve already had a taste of what it could be like and I want more… I want it all!  I won’t be satisfied until all the cement is gone and my gold self shines so brightly that it will allow others to do the same!

2017Week08-Tweak

Tweak… I love that word much better than redo!  I changed a PPN…oh the misery of justifying letting go of Helping Others!!!  Wait…not letting go of Helping Others, more of just letting it slid from number 2 position to number 3 position while I slide Recognition for Creative Expression from number 3 position to number 2 position. ***Oh listen to those judgemental voices in my head going crazy… how can you do that???  You are going to put your own being recognized in front of helping others???  What a selfish person you are!!!  That’s not very God-like….  I thought you said you that you follow His word???  That’s not right to put yourself in front of others…. okay Okay OKAY!!!   ENOUGH with the voices!!!  Cement?  Old Blueprint?  What…where is all that coming from???

Yes… I am sorry.  (Why do I say that I am sorry?)  I want to be recognized!  There!  I said it.  Whether it’s just a hug…wait…it’s not just a hug…hugs are AWESOME!!!!  Whether it is a hug…or seeing myself on TV… I want that!  I want to make a difference…a HUGE difference in this world!!!  I want to change the way EVERYONE handles their finances, thinks about their finances, creates their finances!  I’m saddened by the fact that so many people do not have enough self-esteem to believe they are entitled to anything other than the misery of going to work to a job they hate to make money that is already all spent until they die.  I can be that difference in someones life IF they will allow me to and IF they really want it and…here is the huge IF I have just recently become aware of… IF they are willing to do what they need to do to get it!!!  SO MANY people are not wiling to do that and that makes me even more sad.  They’ve just given up…no hope…no reason to live?

People have become sheeple.  It’s no wonder we are the way we are as a society.  All the cement.  All the training and manipulating.  Every person is a miracle of their own, why can’t they see that anymore?  While I can not get to every person, I’m going to start to identify those that still have at least a spark of hope left in them and kindle that spark into a flame.  I will be the change that I want to see in the world.  I will be recognized for doing so and that will be one of my rewards.  …and recognized to me means that either a hug from a person that will look me in the eye so that I can see in their eyes to the bottom of their soul their gratitude… to being called up on stage in front of millions… but…thinking about this… that hug weighs much more to me than the stage!

2017-Week07-PPN’s

PPN’s …Personal Pivotal Needs.

It’s amazing how when you change the way you look at things…the things you look at change.  Then…out of nowhere…something clicks… snaps… connects… and then everything changes again!

Point?  I’m back reviewing my PPN’s.  What has become my new focus… down the path a little further… and then more changes…  I LOVE IT!  My new freedom…. ooooo…. epiphany… I have always been free…. I just chose to not act that way…then!  My new freedom is allowing me to figure out my new path and “What    Do    I     Want?”

PPN’s …Personal Pivotal Needs:

Legacy:  Opportunities to effectively share my life’s work, both in dollars and in substance.

Spiritual Growth:  Increasing in knowledge and understanding of God’s word, life-long journey that occurs through reading and applying God’s word to my life.

Autonomy:  Freedom from external control or influence; independent choices, self-governing.

Liberty:  Immunity from debt, IRS independence, freedom of choice; to think or feel or do just as I please; personal freedom from servitude or confinement or oppression.

Helping Others:  World goodness, contributing, making a difference in society, give utopia on earth to others.

Recognition for Creative Expression:  Recognized or acknowledged for achievements, honored, remembered, cherished, endowed with greatness.

True Health:  Energy for living, fit and healthy, sound mind, interactions with others, relationships, relaxation, strong immune system, healthy lifestyle.

2017-Week06-Shifts

Something inside me is going on.  I feel different, yet the same.  Ill, yet not.  What is going on?  I can’t explain the shift…the shifts…going on inside me.  It is alien to me…I am alien to me.  I think it’s the new person that I am becoming is being attacked by the old person I was.  I think it is referred to as my old blueprint…trying to hang onto the old me…who I am used to….whom I know.  I’m so full of emotions…crying, laughing, sorrow, happiness, excited, scared…even sitting still…while on the outside I do not move, it’s like I can feel the processes inside me…breathing, blood flowing, heart beating, thoughts, feelings…there are times I do not know who I am, what is going on, where is me???  Where did I go?  Overwhelmed  OVERWHELMING….LET ME GO….LET GO OF ME!!!!

I think this all is scaring me…no…this all is scaring me.  I step away from what I was doing… what was I doing?  Reading..writing…spending time and focusing on me…  Trying to let my light shine.  I think that honestly horrifies me.  Nope…I know it does.  It horrifies me… I have been shrinking myself for so long… too long!  It’s my light that horrifies me…like that child that catches that first fish and has no idea what to do with it after it’s on the line…  What am I pretending not to know?  Why am I holding myself back?  Why am I so horrified with what I know is going to happen???  What am I so horrified about??? Part of me is so excited and can see the future me…and then there is a part of me that…that…I don’t even know how to explain it…is holding me back…tells me to be grateful for what I have and accept it for being enough….