I am deep in thoughts this week… even more sits and thinking this week… because… things are still violently rocking my world! I am trying to make sense of things that transpire and, in a way, try to understand that I may be the one responsible for them.
This week was very much like “The Wizard of Oz” to me. I know that I am on a new path… I changed my direction and now I am fighting the old blueprint with a vengeance to make it go away in support for my NEW blueprint. I know these new things that I manifest come from subconscious and conscious thought. … BUT… You know when you believe in something because, well… it just makes sense… it just feels right and you think what you feel… and what you believe … what you believed… to be true… is… were… was… until… it wasn’t? Something came along and cracked that shell of new belief you had… I had … just to give you just enough of a peek inside…. enough of maybe a doubt, that it might be all that it takes to make yourself re-question everything from that previous moment of new belief!!!??? Yup… *raising my hand* I am re-evaluating a lot of what I thought to be true. The people that I believed in. The lessons that I have been taught… the things that I learned… that I believe… believed… The lines that were drawn… marking integrity and belief and knowledge… and now they seem to be… so blurred. Like Toto pulling back the curtain and exposing the wizard to Dorothy… the wizard has been exposed! What a crushing blow! What a feeling of… you know how when you let go of that balloon you blew up until it almost popped and it whooshes away… like that!!!
Hmmmm So… how will I choose to proceed? I will not cut off my nose to spite my face… would I? Am I going to just let everything go? Would that be rational… even possible at this point of my game??? Is that what my subconscious is up to??? Could my subconscious be that desperate that it would be that dirty??? Hmmmm Fifty years of blueprint and subconscious trying to hang on…. maybe.
Even after exposing the wizard, it did not all come to a complete stop or reversal for Dorothy and the tin man and the lion and the scarecrow… Just because one thing or two things or three things are not as how they appear, doesn’t mean there are not options for continuing forward. Through adversity comes the greatest gain, if you let it. I choose to let it. Just as the wizard was still able to be the wizard… even after being exposed, he still guided Dorothy and the rest as the wizard. I too choose to still continue down this path I started… even if things are not completely how I imagined or believed them to be! I can and will adjust.
Things are different now though. I need to re-train my brain some more. While some people look for a reason to not move forward… I don’t want to use this as my reason to stop my growth. I know in my heart the greater good of continuing moving forward.