Dates are being put in place now for the dismemberment of my business…earlier than expected, earlier than I planned, faster than I thought it would be. Do it like a band-aid, my lawyer advises…get it done and get on with your life! …but…but…I don’t like change very much…it scares me…I was safe and secure in my 30 year groove…okay, maybe living a life of quiet desperation…but it was known…not unknown and scarey. Other forces are in place now that seem to want to get this done as soon as possible. It scares the crap out of me, I’m not going to lie…but then in some distant type of scene, I see a speck of light…gold…hope. God did not put in me the ability to make the right decision every time, but he did put in me the ability to make a decision and then make it right. Got it! While it saddens me to know I won’t be seeing some of my guys anymore…it also makes me really happy knowing I won’t be seeing some of my guys anymore and I know we all know what I mean by that…can’t please everyone all the time…so to all of them I can happily say “bye.”
I need to start focusing on the second half of my life…really digging deep to hear my dream that is calling and stay true to my heart that this will be something I will absolutely love to be doing! The “I don’t need to get paid for what I do because I love doing it so much” type of work. I feel it coming. My sits range from just being out there to crying hysterically to radical new ideas to seeing myself as the person I want to become. Thanks Mark and Davene and Derek and the whole MKMMA community…you’ve really had my back in times of uncertainty and concern. I’m letting go of the biggest banana I know…trading what I’m tired of for what I want…what do you want???